it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize