Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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