dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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