I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
