I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
