check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
