I'm jealous of your bromance
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
