I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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