covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
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yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
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He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.