So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
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My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
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She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.