I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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