I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
