I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
