We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
