i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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