I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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