Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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