Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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