I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
now i know why i became what i already was.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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