I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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