Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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