come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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