Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
