Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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