I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my liver is dry heaving
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
