problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
farters have to be the big spoon...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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