1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
only if we run a train.
done.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
