He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
