you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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