i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Randomize
