so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
