Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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