Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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