I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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