And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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