woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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