i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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