I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
they need to just BURY HIM!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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