I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
