so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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