bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
