oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
