i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
