Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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