My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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