It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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