i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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