this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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