Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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