Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
