We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
