who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
