is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
