so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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