you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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