I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize