did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
