we have pet lesbian snakes
you didnt know i had herpes?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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