Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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