It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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