You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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