I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize