I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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